Playing Devil's advocate

There are two reasons for playing Devil's advocate. One, its fun. It is fun to challenge the most dominant opinion. Its fun to challenge your own beliefs. And sometimes, especially when you are a person who prides yourself on making good arguments, it is fun to debunk people's arguments. It is a mental exercise - giving those mental muscles a stretch.

But then there is the case when you genuinely want to understand both sides. You want to see where the two (or three or five) sides are coming from because you don't agree with any of them and want to figure out your own stance. Or its just that you want to know more about a situation/theory and don't know where to start. You just want the whole picture. In such situations, there are three stages. First you begin with having an inclination for one side. You listen to their arguments. You are convinced. But then, since you don't want to be biased, you go to the other side. To hear what they have to say. And then somehow you are convinced again. In this stage you are not playing Devil's advocate. You are bouncing from one side to another, really just wishing that you can have both sides debating in one place so you can just observe.

Then there is stage two. You've heard arguments from both sides enough to know when talking to one side what the other side would say. This is the stage when you are not convinced of anything at all. Whatever each side says, you have a counter argument. You don't know what to believe. When you're alone and not talking to any particular side, you might have a gut feeling. But you can't rationalize it because you would get into a cycle of debunking your own arguments.

Then there is the final stage. You become the antithesis of a Devil's advocate. Or its most evolved form. You are listening to one side and you know what the other side is going to say, but you still listen and empathize. In this stage you hold both realities and appreciate them: paralelly, simultaneously. You understand both sides while also understanding that they will never understand each other. You'll begin to accept your gut feel as being your own reality, which is as real as the other realities.

Once in this phase, you will no longer feel the need to play Devil's advocate with both sides. At least not with the people who have their beliefs set. When you meet a fellow wanderer looking for middle ground though, you might stretch those muscles and indulge in some Devil's advocacy.  Cause why not? Its fun! 

Application of math in real life - A definite integral to define the state of my mind

Like on the number line in any normal graph, the "values" on the x-axis are in ascending order. i. e. the events/issues are in chronological order (ascending order of time). The y-axis denotes the space each event occupies on my mind.

Hence the curve represents all the things on my mind.

f (x) = Things on my mind

The area of the shaded region can be got by integrating the curve for values of x between "finishing writing an answer" to "Missing everyone when I am in the US". In other words, integrating all the things on my mind.

The definite integral to elucidate this is as seen in the following images. (I can't type in equations)

These equations basically mean that if I "integrate" everything on my mind (i.e. think of all of them at once), it will cause confusion and turmoil.

Moral of the equation: Stay in the present. Look at one thing at a time :D

The prisoner's eyes

He saw her through the bars that imprisoned him. She strutted about with an air of arrogance. Yet there was something about her eyes that caught his attention. They were so beautiful, so familiar. He loved those eyes because it reminded him of someone he missed terribly, his mother.

The memories of the last time he saw his mother were still fresh. He was very young when it happened. He could almost feel the breeze in his face as he thought about it now. It was a beautiful day. The sky was clear and sun was shining brightly. However he remembered feeling worried. Just the day before his mother had sent him out for a while and when he returned, three of his brothers were missing. When he asked his mother about it, she told him they had gone out and would not be back for a few days. She asked him to go run about and not worry too much. That was the beauty of a young mind. It was so easily distracted. He ran about happily, ceasing to worry because his mother told him so.

 That was when he saw them. Something about them told him he was not safe. He ran to his mother, but they were adept. They caught him. What happened next was a flurry of action. He was very scared. As he frantically searched for his mother, he saw others his age being caught. He found her at last. They took him away as she stood there watching. His last image of her was her helpless eyes.

Those were the eyes he saw now. Not his mother’s, not helpless. Yet somehow equally beautiful. She turned around and looked into his eyes. What was this sudden jolt that he felt? Who was she?

His thoughts were disturbed by a commotion in a nearby prison. He turned to see a familiar sight. A new group was just being imprisoned. He looked at them and felt a surge of empathy. He remembered his journey to the prison.

That day along with him about fifteen others were thrust into a vehicle. He had seen most of them in the vicinity earlier. They looked at each other frantically. Each mirrored the same fear and confusion. They did the only thing the young ones do in such helpless situations. They shouted, they cried. After sometime the cries reduced in volume and finally died. They were revived when they were transferred from the vehicle into their prison. After a point, those died too. He was sure the cries of the new prisoners would die too. It was only a matter of time before the days blended into each other.

Each day the sun rose. The prisoners were given their food. The sun set. Another day passed with nothing to differentiate it from the previous days and with no hope of the next being any better. They did not understand why they were imprisoned but after a while they stopped questioning. They got into a routine that numbed all emotions and with it their hope for freedom. Yet, today was different. The sun rose and they were given their food. But looking into her eyes the previous day had gotten him out of his numbness. He had something to look forward to, something to hope for. He wanted to see her again. This hope made him restless. This was something new. How had spent all these days in the prison without feeling restless? What was he doing? He had no answer.

Then she came. His heart started pacing. What was this he was feeling? He had never felt this way before. If his heart beat any louder, he was sure she could hear it! As if in response to his thoughts, she turned around. Their eyes met. In that moment they were connected. It seemed like they had known each other all their lives. He was consumed by a desire to meet her, talk to her, spend time with her. His desire for freedom had weakened after the initial few days in the prison because it made him believe that there was no purpose to life. But today, she broke this belief. She gave him a purpose. He wanted to spend his life with her, have children, protect her, keep her happy and die with her. He could see it in her eyes that she felt similarly. She took a few tentative steps towards his prison, but the prison guards shooed her away. For the first time, he felt like the bars of the prison were literally choking him. His eyes brimmed up with helplessness. He wished with all his might to be free.

The doors of his prison opened. The food from the last time was still left over. Why then did they enter his prison? They looked at him, nodded and set him free.

He blinked his tears away. He looked around disbelievingly. What was happening? Did his wish come really come true? After so long had they really just let him go? Was he really free? One look at her wiped away all his doubts and skepticism. When was imprisoned without a reason, why shouldn’t he be set free without a reason? Reasons were not of consequence. All that mattered was that he was free. He was free to spend his life with her. With these ecstatic thoughts he ran towards her. However this ecstasy was dampened when he saw that she looked at him with fear. He was confused. Was he delusional when he thought that she had felt the same things? He slowed down.

That was when they caught him. He cried in protest. He did not want to be imprisoned again just when he thought he was free. They were not taking him to his prison. Yet he instinctively knew that whatever was in store for him was worse. He saw several other prisoners being captured. Yet they did not seem to complain. Their time in the prison had taught them to accept everything. This was how he would have been had he not seen her. Where was she? They were taking them into a small room. She came running, but she wasn’t fast enough. The last thing he saw before the door of the room closed were her helpless eyes.

There were five other prisoners in the room. Their legs were tied such that they couldn’t move. The room was well lit. At its centre was a large table with several scary looking metal objects. They reminded him of weapons. His focus then shifted to the two people in the room. Somehow they were scarier than the metal objects. One of them pointed at him and spoke.

“Mmmm… This one looks healthy. He’d make a really good Chicken Biryani. I want to be the one eating him! How can your mouth not just water at the thought?”

He did not understand what they were saying, but he knew that it wasn’t good news. He was carried and put on the table. The other spoke.

“I’ve told you this earlier and will tell you again. I do not revel in butchery. I am happy for you that you’ve started this business and I wanted to be there for the inauguration. But I don’t think I can do it. Look at its poor eyes. They are filled with fear. I can’t help but feeling you are killing not just this chicken but several dreams today. I’ll meet you outside later.”

The first picked up the sharpest of the metal weapons and muttered, “Chickens with dreams? Over imaginative vegetarians… They don’t know what they miss in life”

As he saw the weapon come closer he just knew that it was the last thing he would ever see. He knew this was the last time he could say everything he wanted to tell her. The last time he could express his love for her.

He shouted “Cock-a-doodle-doo”

The man from peru

There was once a man in Peru
Who never knew what he should do
Should he go left? Should he go right?
Should he wear black? Should he wear white?

He went for a walk one morning,
(Only he thought it was evening)
He found on his morning walk,
Two fishes that could actually talk!

The first asked him "Sir, do you know,
If no is yes or yes is no?
If there is dark in the light?
Is there sorrow in delight?"

The second continued to say,
"In your answer you mustn't delay,
For we are on our way to meet,
The King and Queen of tiny feet!"

He closed his eyes and thought for some time,
The answers he got were quite sublime,
He opened his eyes, the fish were not to be seen,
Probably on their way to meet the King and Queen.

Undeterred he walked on
when he saw a rat eating corn
As it saw him it asked him why
people can't laugh when they cry?

As he opened his mouth to speak,
The rat disappeared in a squeak
Because approaching him was a cat,
Wearing what seemed like a large green hat

In greeting it said "Meeeeeow!"
Then it said "Sir, why and how.
do thoughts come and thoughts go,
Do you think you really know?"

When he was going to give his answer,
The cat grinned and said "No sir,
Let me for myself find out,
What thoughts are really all about"

With all his answers, the man went home
He thought he gained wisdom after his roam
He then wore socks, they didn't seem right
Cause one was black and one was white!

This I assume was because
He was as confused as he was
For this man from Peru
Still didn't know what to do!

Through the looking glass

“It matters what is on the inside and not the outside” “The external beauty doesn’t matter it is your internal beauty that counts” these are beliefs that have been preached in the past and I am quite sure they will continue to be preached in the future. Then why is it that people still want to look good? Why do they take extra care in order to look good?

It is a fact that most of us like good-looking people. However my belief is that we don’t like them because they are good looking but because they believe that they are good looking. They carry around them an aura of confidence which makes them so appealing. I have observed that people tend to merely reflect what we feel.

My first exposure to this observation occurred when I was in 3rd standard. It was the first time I got glasses and they were those terrible looking plastic ones. Previously another girl in my class had got similar looking glasses and all my class mates made fun of her and called her a grand mom. I was quite sure that I would be subjected to the same treatment.  However when I did get my glasses I was very happy that I could finally see clearly that and I felt very confident about myself. Believe it or not my class mates did not tease me! At that point I was pleasantly surprised but now I realize that it was because of my confidence.
That event changed my perspective. I realized that no one could make me feel bad about myself. Only I could. The world around me was just a mirror that reflected what I felt and believed.

Another fact that I observed was that my external appearance was affected by how I felt. So wouldn’t the reverse also hold true? Could I not change the way I felt by altering my appearance? I noticed that I did feel a lot more confident when I looked good, when I took that little extra effort to pamper myself.
So I wonder is it so wrong to want to look good and feel good about myself? Is it wrong to want to pamper myself and want to be confident? I don’t think so. Do you?

A perfect relationship

Does a perfect relationship equate to never fighting?? If people fight does that mean that they don’t like each other?

I’ve noticed that fights tend to leave me frustrated and angry. At that point I cannot understand why a person does or says things. Why my friends who generally seem sensible behave in that inexplicable manner at that point I feel that I never want to talk to the person again. They leave me feeling extremely annoyed. Most people probably feel the same way. Hence is it any wonder that people tend to avoid fights?

Most times we dismiss our feelings or ignore them. We believe that addressing misunderstandings may end up weakening the relationship. Contrary to that I have found that in most relationships fights tend to strengthen the relationship. With time the fights get resolved. We may still not understand their reasons and we may continue to strongly disagree with them on the matter but we notice that after a while we tend to remember all the good times and we cannot stay long without talking to them. Moreover these fights instill in us a certain trust and belief that whatever be the situation we can count on friends to be true to what they feel.

So after some contemplation I have reached at my definition of a perfect relationship. It is a state of relationship where I am true to my feelings with a person, where we accept each other as we are. It is a state where I am confident that though I may disagree, fight, feel frustrated and annoyed at the end of the day I can count on the person to be there for me.

Alphabetical almanac for alternative abuses

Atrocious
Boisterous
Cantenkrous
Demented
Egoistic
Frustrating
Ghastly
Heartless
Inhuman
Jobless
Kleptomaniac
Lazy
Moronic
Nasty
Obnoxious
Pestering
Quirky
Ridiculous
Shameless
Troublesome
Useless
Vile
Weird
Xenophobic
Yucky
Zit!

Sinful indulgence

That moment of indulgence

Forget I shall never

The mere thought of it

Shall stay with me forever



That passion that delight

Makes my throat burn

That desire, that feeling

For more I still yearn



Everything about it

Was ever so appealing

I start hyper-ventilating

As I remember that feeling



The scent, the looks

The touch on my lips

Then I was smothered by

Tongue then finger tips



Then my lover went down

For it was a must

But over too soon that

Sinful experience of lust



That kick, the feel

Again I hope to get

I can’t wait for another affair

With my Bournville dark chocolate

Kala Bandar exposed!!

Hey Kala Bandar … bahar hai ya andar? This is the beginning of a song in Delhi6. For those of you who haven’t watched Delhi6, Kala Bandar is supposed to be a dangerous creature. Like many myths Kala Bandar starts off as something small but it gets hyped by the media and they make a mountain of a mole hill. Each one gives his own account of the Kala Bandar and it soon becomes something which causes riots between Hindus and Muslims.

There are certain aspects of the song which fascinate me…
One is it explains how urban legends actually start. This Kala Bandar issue started off when some guy imagined that he saw a black monkey. Then people started adding ‘mirchi masala’ to the story and soon they claimed that Kala Bandar was two feet tall, wearing superman briefs, it bites off your knees, it is invisible, and so on.  Then they ask a really good question, “Who’s actually seen him? Nobody” So then, what is Kala Bandar? “Tu bahar hai ya andar?” Dear Kala Bandar, do you really exist or are you just a nice combination of all our fears put together?

The song also says that we are all hiding behind curtains. We are hiding our fear, pain and hurt .We don’t want to acknowledge to others and more often to ourselves that we feel them. We have gotten so used to hiding them, that most times we do it unconsciously, and we are not even aware that they exist. So maybe if we look into ourselves deeply we might find a Kala Bandar hidden inside us.

There is one part of the song which says “Hey Kala Bandar because of you our village has tight security. It has 24hr electricity and I don’t need to miss my favourite show on TV. So am happy with the Bandar as long as he doesn’t get me. In fact Kala Bandar, don’t go away. Kala Bandar I beg you to stay”. We grumble about a problem that is threatening the society. But if that problem (in this case Kala Bandar) benefits me then who cares if it happens to harm someone else. I am fine with it as long as the problem doesn’t affect me…

Human psychology is quite fascinating isn’t it

Incentives

What is common in most religions is the fact that there is someone out there (God) to punish you if you go wrong. Its a good thing too, cause otherwise the crime rate of the world (by crime rate I mean everything from lying to thievery to  murder to bomb blasts) would be 100 times more. Because the reason most people don't do these things is that their society/family/community/religion preaches that bad thins will happen to/ someone will punish you if you do stuff like that. Most people get the necessary incentive from that.

Then some times people chase to 'misinterpret' what their religion has to say ,so that they can get what want.They kill, murder, lie , all in the name of religion. So technically they preach one thing and practice quite another, But they don't  look at what they are doing as  bad. they comfort themselves by saying that they are doing it for the 'greater good'. Some times i wonder what is 'greater good'?Is it really necessary to kill millions of people for the greater good? Forget million is is okay to end even one innocent life for the greater good? Because what is greater good for one person , nay nit be so for another person.So whose 'greater good' are we to execute?

Coming back to the previous point, let me tell you an experience. There was this certain "ayyappa swamy" who I talked to. (Ayyappa swamies take a fast for 40 days during which they are not supposed to drink, eat non-veg etc). He was telling me the benefits he gains by taking up the "mala" for 40 days. Basically, he was a person who ate a lot of non veg. So, since on these 40 days he was not supposed to eat non-veg, he felt healthier at the end of 40 days. So then I asked him: Why start eating at the d of 40 days? If it made him feel better, then wy not make a few rules for himself like deciding not to eat non veg more than 3 times a week? he told me that though he made rules, he would break them. Those 40 days there was a fear which told him that he would be punished if he ate non veg.

That got me thinking. Even if there is a god who punishes people for doing wrong things, would he punish someone for eating non veg when they are wearing a black dress and not punish them on other days? Could god be really that inconsistent?

Another observation i made was that people find it easier to follow rules made by someone else for the fear of being punished. we observe that wherever punishment is more severe, less traffic rules for that matter any rules are broken. People can't follow rules nade by themselves because the can't really punish themselves right?Maybe thats why people decide to fast on auspicious days.Because they couldn't break it like how they break a diet they make for themselves. So does the incentiveto do good (to oursevles and others) have to come from the fear of being punished?

This reminds me of a scene in Matrix ( according to the movie, machines have taken over the world and the world we see around is just a program. So we see what they show us.) The matrix initially tried ot create or program a world where everyone was happy. There were no fears or problems.But it didn't last long. Because people started ti suspect something was wrong. They suspected that the world they lived in wasn't real. So does something have to be difficult to be real?

I suppose yes. That's why there are so many rule to be followed in every religion.Maybe initially all the prophets and the messiahs suggested " hey try this method. It really helps."but people didn't try it .Why should they? No one was going to  punish them!! So that's when maybe the suggestions became a rule. If some one came up with a religion with no rules, I doubt it would be very popular. It wouldn't work because people wouldn't really believe in it. The main reason why miracles happen in any religion is that people believe they will happen. So if some one preached a religion with no rules , people would just laugh at it.

So maybe it is better for everyone if there are rules and the power us taken away from people (or so they think). Then atleast we can pretend to ourselves that God will punish us of we break them. So maybe people 'might' be kind to others with this fear.